Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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