I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
