I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
