Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
And my parents said I crawled through the house
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
