PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
