Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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