hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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