Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
