Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
