Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
