She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
