I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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