I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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