Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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