where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
should my penis look like a turkey
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
