"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
