i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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