She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
