I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
