you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
