it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
