i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
