Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think I am morally bankrupt
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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