I just made out with a guy for $7.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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