I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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