so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I am one with the molecules
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize