Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
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