The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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