absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
