Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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