i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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