Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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