Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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