At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
