Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
