either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
