so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
