lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
as a side note pls kill me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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