"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
