So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He did a backflip because drugs
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