At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize