Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
