She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
