i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
