She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just pee around me
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
