whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize