Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
