i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
