1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
