..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
