is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
