Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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