never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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