The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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