My friends, they love my intelligence
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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