Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
