When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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