Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
