I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
