Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
