This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
