seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
